Ep. 112 | When Missionary Fundraising Feels Selfish: How to Reframe the Ask

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Something I’ve heard from missionaries before is, “I hate asking people to support me.”

And I understand why there can be such a big difference between asking someone to give to a ministry and asking someone to financially support you. You might be able to passionately talk about the country you’re going to, the people you’re serving, the needs you’ve seen, or a specific ministry project that needs funding. You know why those things matter, so asking someone to help feels pretty natural.

But then you have to raise your own support.

Now you’re asking someone to give money that will pay for your housing, transportation, food, travel, and all the other practical things you need to live. You start thinking about the fact that they have their own mortgage, groceries, kids, and financial responsibilities, and suddenly asking them to help pay for yours can feel selfish.

Why should they have to pay for me to live?

If that’s where your mind goes when you’re fundraising, I want you to think differently about what your donors are actually supporting.

Your Donors Aren’t Just Funding Your Life

Yes, practically speaking, the money you raise may pay your rent. It may buy your groceries, put gas in your car, purchase a plane ticket, or cover whatever other expenses are necessary for you and your family to live where God has called you.

Those expenses are real, and pretending they don’t exist isn’t going to make fundraising easier.

Instead, ask yourself why those expenses exist in the first place.

You need the plane ticket because you need to get there. You need housing because you need somewhere to live while you’re serving. You need transportation because you need to get to the people and places where ministry is happening. You need food because, obviously, you have to eat while you’re doing all of this.

All of those practical expenses make it possible for the ministry to happen.

That’s the bigger picture I think missionaries sometimes lose when they’re staring at a fundraising goal and thinking, I need to find 30 people willing to pay for me to live.

Your donor isn’t simply paying your bills. Their financial partnership is helping make the ministry possible.

Show Your Donors the Impact They’re Making

This is also why the way you communicate about fundraising matters so much.

Think about how different it feels to raise money for a specific project. Maybe you need to build a school, feed children, purchase ministry equipment, or fund an outreach event. Asking someone to give $100 toward one of those things probably feels much easier because you can clearly see the connection between their money and the impact it will make.

Personal support can feel different because you put yourself in the middle of the story.

I need $100.

I need 30 monthly partners.

Help send me.

Without realizing it, you can build the entire fundraising conversation around what you need, and then wonder why asking feels so uncomfortable.

Instead, connect your donor to the impact their partnership will make.

Yes, their $100 may technically end up paying part of your rent that month, but your rent is one of the things that allows you to stay in that community and do the work you’ve been called there to do. That’s part of how their financial gift becomes ministry.

Your job is to help them see that bigger picture.

What Are You Actually Inviting Your Donor Into?

Before your next donor conversation, I want you to finish this sentence:

I am inviting this person to ____________.

And I wouldn’t fill in that blank with help me get to the mission field or help me reach 100% of my budget.

Go deeper.

What becomes possible because you’re there? Who will be served? What need are you helping meet? What is at stake if someone doesn’t go? What is God already doing among these people that your potential donor now has an opportunity to participate in?

That’s what you’re inviting them into.

The donor may never physically step foot in the country where you’re serving. They may never meet most of the people whose lives are touched through the ministry, but their financial partnership allows them to participate in something happening far beyond their own home and community.

When you understand that, the fundraising conversation begins to change because you’re no longer approaching someone thinking, I need you to fund my life.

You’re approaching them with an opportunity to participate in the work God is doing.

Your Role in the Mission Has Value

I also think there’s something deeper that missionaries need to recognize here.

Sometimes raising money for a project feels noble while raising money for yourself feels selfish. It’s easy to believe that the school, outreach, feeding program, church plant, or ministry equipment deserves funding while quietly treating your own needs as an unfortunate expense attached to the “real” ministry.

But someone has to do the work.

If God has called you to go, then getting you there and making it possible for you to stay there has value. Your housing, transportation, food, and other practical needs are part of what allows you to consistently show up and serve the people you’ve been called to serve.

You don’t need to apologize for having those needs.

You need to help your donors understand the mission their partnership makes possible.

You Still Need to Make a Clear Ask

There is one important warning here, because this mindset shift can easily become another way to avoid the uncomfortable part of fundraising.

You still have to ask for money.

You still need monthly partners, you still have a fundraising goal, and at some point you need to look at someone and clearly invite them to financially partner with you. Reframing fundraising doesn’t mean becoming vague about what you need because you’re afraid of sounding pushy.

The mindset work should actually make your ask clearer because you understand what you’re asking someone to participate in.

So before your next donor conversation, take a few minutes and ask yourself:

What will their gift make possible?

Don’t settle for the logistical answer. Keep going until you get to the people, the need, and the impact.

Once you’re clear on that, communicate it to your donor and invite them into it.

Because yes, you need the financial support to go and fulfill the calling God has placed on your life. But your donor gets to be part of what happens because you went.

Want to Feel More Confident Asking for Support?

If you know you need to raise support but fundraising still feels awkward, embarrassing, salesy, or even a little shameful, I want to invite you to my free live workshop, Fundraise with Confidence.

During this one-hour workshop, we’re going to work through some of the mindset issues that make fundraising feel so uncomfortable, talk about how to start donor conversations in a way that actually gets people to lean in, and help you learn how to confidently invite someone to support your ministry.

The workshop is happening Monday, October 5 at 11:00 a.m. Central, and if you can’t make it live, register anyway because everyone who signs up will receive the replay.

Save your seat at irisstorytelling.com/fundraising.

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