Ep. 51 | Hate Fundraising? 3 Ways to Ease the "Ick" of Asking for Money in Ministry
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If you hate fundraising, you’re not broken.
And you’re definitely not alone.
I hear this all the time from ministry leaders—sometimes whispered, sometimes said bluntly:
“I hate asking for money.”
“Fundraising just feels gross.”
“I feel awkward and ashamed every time I have to ask.”
And then you still show up.
You still send the email.
You still smile on the call.
You still ask for the meeting.
Even though everything inside you wants to crawl out of your skin.
So let’s just name it: that ick you feel when asking for money is real.
And for many of us, it’s been there a long time.
Why fundraising feels so uncomfortable
I grew up as a missionary kid, so ministry and fundraising were part of my world from the very beginning. And even if no one ever said it out loud, I learned early on that asking for money was something you endured—not something you enjoyed.
Fundraising was the necessary evil.
The awkward part.
The thing you just had to push through.
Maybe you grew up with that same messaging. Or maybe you only started feeling it once fundraising became your responsibility. Either way, the result is the same: shame, discomfort, and a constant low-grade tension every time support comes up.
But here’s what I’ve learned over time—both personally and through working with other ministry leaders:
That feeling doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong.
It usually means the way you’re thinking about fundraising needs to shift.
1. Stop thinking “asking for” and start thinking “giving”
One of the biggest reasons fundraising feels so bad is because we frame it as asking for something.
When you think you’re asking, the power feels uneven.
You feel vulnerable.
You feel like they hold all the cards.
And it makes sense. Asking puts you in a position where rejection feels personal.
But what if that framing is wrong?
You’re not asking donors for money.
You’re giving them an opportunity.
An opportunity to be part of what God is doing.
An opportunity to meet a need they already care about.
An opportunity to make an eternal impact.
That’s not marketing spin. That’s biblical.
In 2 Corinthians 8, Paul talks about the Macedonian churches—people who were experiencing extreme poverty and severe trial—yet they were overflowing with joy. They weren’t reluctant givers. They were pleading for the privilege of being part of the work.
That changes the picture completely.
There are people who want to be part of what God is doing through your ministry. They want to give. They want their lives to count for something bigger than themselves.
When you start seeing fundraising as giving an opportunity, the shame starts to loosen its grip.
2. Remember: it’s not about you
This one is hard—especially when the weight of the ministry sits squarely on your shoulders.
You’re the one staying up late.
You’re the one working weekends.
You’re the one worrying about whether the support will come in.
So when someone says no, it can feel devastating.
But here’s the shift that brings relief:
Fundraising isn’t about you convincing someone to give.
You’re not the hero of this story.
You’re the connector.
You’re the one standing between a real need and someone who has the ability to meet it. You’re facilitating something God is already doing in their heart.
When you take yourself out of the center of the ask, the pressure eases.
The shame eases.
The disgust eases.
You’re not failing if someone says no.
You’re being faithful.
And that’s a very different burden to carry.
3. Speak to your ideal donor (not everyone)
Here’s another reason fundraising feels so uncomfortable: we try to talk to everyone.
Not everyone is your donor.
Not everyone cares about the need your ministry meets.
And that’s okay.
When you’re talking to people who don’t actually care, it puts you right back into that awkward, convincing, “please say yes” posture.
But when you’re speaking to your ideal donor—the person who already cares deeply about the problem—you’re not persuading. You’re inviting.
That’s why clarity around your ideal donor matters so much. When you know who you’re talking to, fundraising feels lighter. More natural. More aligned.
You’re no longer trying to prove anything.
You’re simply calling out the people who are already listening.
A quieter way forward
If fundraising has felt heavy, awkward, or emotionally exhausting, you don’t need to force yourself to “get over it.”
You need a new way of seeing it.
Start small:
Change your language.
Take yourself out of the center.
Speak to the people who truly care.
Over time, that ick begins to fade.
And in its place, you may even find something unexpected: joy.
If you’re tired of figuring this out on your own and want help clarifying your message so fundraising feels simpler and more aligned, I’d love to walk through it with you.
You don’t have to carry this alone.
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