Ep. 36 | Why Is Asking for Money So Hard? How to Reframe Your Fundraising Mindset
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If you’ve ever felt your throat tighten, your stomach sink, or your whole body tense up at the thought of asking someone for money…
welcome to the club.
Almost every ministry leader who fundraises has felt this same uncomfortable wave wash over them:
awkwardness, shame, embarrassment, fear of burdening someone, fear of being misunderstood, or fear that you’re “taking” instead of giving.
It’s real.
It’s painful.
And it can make fundraising feel like the part of ministry you wish you could avoid.
But here’s the truth:
Your discomfort around asking for money didn’t appear out of nowhere.
It was shaped by your upbringing, your past experiences, the way money was talked about (or not talked about), and the way you’ve heard others in ministry describe fundraising.
And the even better truth?
You don’t have to stay stuck in that discomfort.
With a simple mindset shift, you can remove the shame, release the heaviness, and step into freedom—yes, even joy—when inviting people to partner with you.
Let’s walk through this together.
Why Asking for Money Feels So Awkward
For many ministry leaders, fundraising triggers deep emotional responses.
You might feel:
Like you’re taking something from someone
Like you’re burdening people who work hard for their money
Afraid of sounding manipulative or guilt-inducing
Apologetic, hesitant, and unsure of yourself
Like you’re imposing or being a bother
Paralyzed because money conversations were taboo growing up
Scared of being seen as needy, desperate, or begging
All of this leads to one predictable result:
Every time you think about fundraising, a wave of shame or dread surfaces.
And when those feelings hit, two things happen:
You communicate apologetically, nervously, or unclearly
You show up inconsistently—or not at all
That inconsistency is what ultimately hurts your fundraising the most.
People cannot join what they don’t understand.
People cannot support what they don’t hear.
And people cannot partner if you don’t invite them.
But the issue isn’t your heart, your worth, or your calling.
The issue is the story you’ve been telling yourself about what fundraising is.
The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything
To break free from those heavy feelings, two perspective shifts transform the entire experience:
1. Fundraising is not taking — it’s giving.
In 2 Corinthians 8, Paul describes the Macedonian believers who begged for the privilege of giving.
They pleaded to be a part of what God was doing.
They didn’t see giving as losing.
They saw it as an opportunity to participate in God’s work.
And that’s what you offer every time you fundraise:
✨ An opportunity
✨ A privilege
✨ A chance for someone to be part of God’s story
✨ A way for them to experience joy, purpose, and transformation
You’re not burdening them.
You’re blessing them.
You are literally inviting them into the work God is doing—and that’s a gift.
2. It’s not about you — you are simply the connector.
You are not asking for money for yourself.
You are not convincing people to meet your needs.
You are not begging for a paycheck.
You are the facilitator.
The guide.
The connector between:
the people you serve
the need they carry
and the donors God is stirring
It’s not about you.
It’s about what God is doing and the role others get to play.
When you really let this sink in, the pressure falls off your shoulders.
You stop apologizing.
You stop shrinking.
You stop feeling ashamed.
Because the moment you realize “this isn’t about me,”
you are finally free.
Your Invitation: Shift the Way You See Fundraising
Next time you prepare to talk with a donor, write an email, or share at a church, pause and repeat:
“I’m giving an opportunity, not taking.”
“It’s not about me—I’m simply connecting them to God’s work.”
These simple truths make a remarkable difference.
You begin showing up more confidently.
You communicate more clearly.
And donors feel more energized, not drained.
The awkwardness dissolves.
Peace replaces shame.
Joy replaces dread.
You were never meant to fundraise alone—
and you were never meant to carry it like a burden.
You’re simply inviting people to join what God is already doing.
Want Support on This Journey?
If you’re a woman in ministry who fundraises, come join a community that actually gets it:
👉 Ministry Fundraising for Women Leaders
irisstorytelling.com/community
It’s a free, encouraging space where we:
pray together
share real struggles
learn storytelling skills
and support each other in both ministry and fundraising
And if you want personalized coaching to help you communicate your message clearly and confidently, you can find all the details here:
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